Whenever I started writing in my blog, it either means that I'm bored or I have no one to talk to. Which in this case, I have no one to talk with. I don't exactly have a VERY bestest of friend of whom I could pour my heart to. A person who I could tell my problems with... not even when I had a boyfriend.

Sometimes I keep wondering what is people's thoughts about me. How they think about me. Sometimes I wished I could be like someone who doesn't really care about what other people think. Its ironic how I used to advice people to not let people's thoughts about who you are really matters, its how you think about yourself that really matters. Yet I can't seem to follow my own advice. Sometimes it hurts me whenever I think about how people think of me. It really doesn't help with the way they acted towards me that leads to negative thinking.

Sometimes I tried to live up to what people expected of me, yet, I somehow mostly disappoints them. This is why sometimes I feel like wanting to be alone. But being alone can really hurts because all your feelings and emotions are too bottled up inside you and when it suddenly burst into tears, it just won't stop.

Seriously, what do people think of me when they talk to me or spend time with me? Am I just too emotional to spend time with? Too annoying and all? I used to try to act differently because I'm scared that they would think of me as an annoying person. Yet, somehow I think I manage to act even more annoying than ever.

Its really hurts to fake a smile when you're feel like dying inside...

Labels: Emotions n Thoughts

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